![[For T, to impress Her]
Season with plenty of salt, pepper, oregano. Drive spit from the asshole all the way through the skull. Mount bolts to hold the spine on the spit, then sew the belly shut, seasoning further as you go along. Leave overnight.
The next morning start at 7 am with a good, large fire; let it settle to a substantial mound of charcoal, then (about an hour later) mount high-ish and rotate quickly; you *need* to be able to run the spit at multiple heights, otherwise just don’t bother. For the next six to seven hours make sure the heat is high, and regulate by moving the spit higher or lower. Keep seasoning and basting with olive oil.
When it looks ready, it’s not. Ignore all calls to “look at the time”, it’s ready when it’s ready. All four knees must have split open, and the spine will be soft before you can consider removing from the fire.
Take carefully off the fire, place a big tray on the floor, and rest the spit vertically on it. If you’ve done the job right, the weight of the meat will rip it off the spit, straight into the tray. The smell alone will have caused all conversation to pause.
You don’t need to be a meat-eater yourself to bask in the satisfaction that you’ve awakened in your table mates a gustative and olfactory pleasure with roots lost in the first eras of humanity.](http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l04bgj1CVJ1qzzm18o1_500.jpg)
[For T, to impress Her]
Season with plenty of salt, pepper, oregano. Drive spit from the asshole all the way through the skull. Mount bolts to hold the spine on the spit, then sew the belly shut, seasoning further as you go along. Leave overnight.
The next morning start at 7 am with a good, large fire; let it settle to a substantial mound of charcoal, then (about an hour later) mount high-ish and rotate quickly; you *need* to be able to run the spit at multiple heights, otherwise just don’t bother. For the next six to seven hours make sure the heat is high, and regulate by moving the spit higher or lower. Keep seasoning and basting with olive oil.
When it looks ready, it’s not. Ignore all calls to “look at the time”, it’s ready when it’s ready. All four knees must have split open, and the spine will be soft before you can consider removing from the fire.
Take carefully off the fire, place a big tray on the floor, and rest the spit vertically on it. If you’ve done the job right, the weight of the meat will rip it off the spit, straight into the tray. The smell alone will have caused all conversation to pause.
You don’t need to be a meat-eater yourself to bask in the satisfaction that you’ve awakened in your table mates a gustative and olfactory pleasure with roots lost in the first eras of humanity.
